Jacquelyn S. Gonz, Attorney At Law Llc

Five reasons to skip mediation during a divorce

No one wants to fight during a divorce. There has been enough fighting over relationship issues, children and who gets which house. Unfortunately, the divorce process is trickled with opportunities to instigate another fight.

Some people try to avoid fighting by using mediation as their resolution. However, mediation isn't a feasible option for every couple.

Mediation isn't for everyone

There are several signs that you and your former significant other should skip the mediation room and go straight to court:

  1. Unrealistic expectations - It's incredibly easy to assume mediation solves all your issues with your ex. However, meditation is not an instant solution. It's similar to court where it takes time to develop compromises. If you want your divorce to be quick, mediation may not work for you.
  2. Power imbalance - In many divorces, one spouse holds more power over the other because of money, children or any other reason. A power imbalance makes it difficult to negotiate fair terms during mediation. A judge can identify these imbalances better than a mediator.
  3. A hostile relationship - Many relationships end on great terms, but others end on a sour note. A hostile relationship usually results in a problematic mediation, primarily if one spouse was violent towards another. The court may be the best way to keep spouses separate and safe.
  4. Settlement is not the goal - Mediation is an excellent option for couples who want to settle. They do not want to fight for assets or child custody. They want to wrap up their separation and start their new lives. However, many people want to fight for what they deserve, and typically, mediation won't be the right route for you.
  5. Finances are an issue - Mediation is often portrayed as a cheaper alternative to going to a court proceeding. However, mediation is not free. You have to pay for a meditator, and sometimes you end up paying an attorney anyways due to complications in your divorce. Maybe you need to skip the meditator and invest in the right lawyer.

It's evident that certain couples will not find the right answers in mediation. If you feel like that is you, consider going to the Missouri courts to fight for your fair share of assets and time with your children.

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